Maybe i'm born to suffer.
Life has never satisfied me, not even one day.

I never never feel good about myself.
Never never have what i want.
How sad.

Sec 3 did not get into the desire elective i wanted: POA.
I end up taking the elective which i hated: F&N.
Thus, after O's result, i can't choose any courses related to Business in poly.
Cause i did very badly for Humanities.
And i don't have POA as a subject to meet the criteria for Business course in poly.
I hate engineering and sciences, so i end up with the choices of IT courses.

Now in RP, year 2.
Taking modules all related to IT.
Business Application? Also IT stuffs!
And is damn ass tough and difficult!!!
IP address, Binary, Java coding, SQL, DBDesigner..
All this is too heavy to me, a IT-noob.

And! I still have UTs and PP to care.
I haven't start my PP and i don't know where/how to start.
I really don't want to flunk.

First UT result was out.
It was Java. Got C+.
Pass. But i'm not happy with this result.
Cause i get As for all Java module daily grade,
but why my Java UT got a C+?
Very disheartening.

Sometime i think my life is in a mess.
Because i don't know what i want.
Blame me for my stubbornness, selfishness or what.
I just can't put down something which has a great significant on me.
Don't ask me why, cause i don't know.

I scare i will broke down one day.
Now feeling happy outside but miserable inside.

Maybe i just need someone there to shower me love, care, and support.
Definitely not my parents.
They don't understand.

I'm useless. Maybe i don't deserve a good life or the life i want.

Long weekends.
Flying in 18 days.

♥ 7:49:00 PM